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Work That Room!

By MARGARET DeMARINO, Owner, Business Communications, Inc.

In today’s world, it’s not who you know, it’s who you get to know.

Networking is the key to building new contacts and resources.  You may be standing next to someone who can bring a sizable amount of business to your bank or credit union, hire you for the next job, provide insight into a tricky problem you’re struggling with, or even become a mentor.

Yet you may never realize it if you don’t open your mouth.

If you develop professional networking skills, you can build relationships that can have staying powers in these troubling economic times.  Networking allows you to put a “face” on the package you bring to the table; it helps form synergies and ultimately it gets people who like you to root for you.

Networking is ultimately about sharing in the most non-selfish sense.  People want to hire and do business with people they click with.  Networking allows you to start the process, but because most people don’t know how to network effectively, it often falls flat.

Most people equate networking with pushiness; effective networking is far from this.  To me, networking is most akin to building friendships; you talk enough to see what you have in common, what you might mutually enjoy, and if you feel comfortable with each other.  Of course, there is the added dimension of economics.  That additional pressure often makes people feel self-conscious, and that’s where they stumble.

One of the largest networking mistakes is to cluster with people you already know when attending an event that is potentially ripe with networking opportunities.  People often feel there is safety in numbers, but this “safety net” actually becomes a trap.  Spending time with people you already know or sitting next to co-workers might be fun, but it’s not good networking.

A few years ago I did a workshop on networking for female bankers.  In going around to the various tables, I was struck by how many women were grouped people from the same bank or with people they already knew.  The first thing I did was get them up and moving and talking to people they didn’t know.  The energy in the room became kinetic.

A good networking rule is to try to meet at least five new people at every gathering.

Other no-no’s to avoid when networking:

• Don’t spend your time hanging out at the refreshment table. It’s hard to network when you’re juggling a forkful in one hand and a drink in the other. Remember, it’s net-working not net-entertaining. The catch-phrase networking experts use is that networking is a verb.
• Don’t forget names. Try the repeater method to learn them. Say the person’s name several times in your mind after he or she tells you it. Use it once or twice within the first three or four minutes of conversation. Google other tips for remembering names and use what works for you. If you forget someone’s name, one good thing to say is, “I remember peoples’ faces (or energy levels), but not their names. Would you please tell me yours again?” or “I always have to hear someone’s name twice before it sinks in. May I hear yours again?”
• Don’t forget to read body language. One key thing: look at people’s feet. It’s usually a good sign if they are both pointed toward you. When one of both of them is pointed in another direction (like toward the exit), that is usually where the person wants to go.
• Don’t forget to carry a “conversation starter.” This is something like a book, a bag, a piece of jewelry, that people comment on whenever you carry/wear it. It makes you approachable.
• Don’t forget to smile. Ask a friend to observe you from across the room at a networking meeting and rate you on approachability. A 5 means, “I’ve got to get to know this person.” 4 means, “He’s/she looks interesting. I’m going to try to talk to  him/her today if I get a chance.”  3 means, “If that person crosses my path, I’m sure he/she would be okay to talk to.  No big deal, otherwise.” 2 means, “Whom are you talking about?” (In other words, they wouldn’t even notice you.) 1 means, “Boy, that person looks mean.”
• Don’t set your expectations too high. For example, at a recent meeting, I make six contacts, including one I was in a position to offer business to. I followed through with all six and received a half of a response. (The person was on vacation and wrote to say she would contact me again when she arrived back at the office, but then never did.)  The person I was in a position to offer business to never bothered to contact me back. (Her loss!)  Like many people,  I use networking responses as an indication of business character. For example, if the person I wrote to with a potential offer of new business writes me back five weeks later, I wouldn’t hire her because I would know she wasn’t good at prompt follow through.
• Don’t feel like you need to be pushy to be a good networker. When I ask workshop participants to list adjectives that describe good  networkers, “pushiness” never makes the list. Typical responses are: confident, friendly, energetic, positive, engaging, personable, humorous, good memory, knowledgeable. Aim for these instead.
• Don’t forget your manners. When I ask workshop participants to list behaviors that they feel great networkers possess, typical answers are: they have good eye contact, they are great listeners, they thank everyone, they introduce themselves to everyone, they provide positive feedback to people, they act like a host, they learn and use people’s names, they smile a lot, and they do what they tell you they are going to do (follow through).
• Don’t forget your business cards. Carry them everywhere.
• Don’t forget to make notations on the back of business cards you collect. Add something that will job your members, such as “spoke about a potential position being created in six months.” Note appropriate action. “Send her my resume and include in cover letter Peace Corps experience.” Also note where you met.
• Don’t forget that networking is a two-way street. People will be more prone to help you if you are helpful yourself. Make it a two-sided conversation. Some good questions to ask is: How do I know if someone may be a good prospect for you? How is your company different from your competitions’? What trends are you noticing in your field?
• Don’t be negative. No one likes to do business with naysayers.
• Don’t forget to do a breath and hygiene check.
• Don’t forget to dress professionally. Dress for a professional event like you are going on a job interview.
• Don’t forget to reward yourself. When you’re done, breathe. Count your successes not in terms of new business made but in terms of personal growth. Finish this sentence, “I’m proud of myself today because I . . . “

One thing that my workshop participants learn is that networking is not something you do only at trade shows, chamber meetings, and other events.  It’s something you do anytime and anywhere. I once met a woman at a resort conference center where I was a guest speaker.  I held the door open for her and commented on her pretty dress.  About 20 minutes later, I was moving my car from the area where I was unloading and saw her again.  I smiled and say, “Hello, again, pretty dress lady.”  We started talking and it turned out she was the coordinator for a convention of nutritionists.  She hired me to speak at their next meeting.

Practice everywhere.  Talk to people while you’re waiting for your Mocha-Java-tini at the coffee house. Speak to people when you’re waiting on line somewhere.  Once you get in the habit, it becomes second nature.  The key is you need to deal with your fear of rejection.

I once had a vice president of a bank attend a workshop.  He started the day with a strong fear of rejection, feeling that “networking” was simply another way of spelling “pushiness.”  By the end of the day, he told me that he now felt that his bank offered a great service to small businesses in the community.  Looking at networking as synonymous with helping makes all the difference.

Margaret DeMarino is a business communications trainer who specializes in topics ranging from effective business development to supervisory skills to customer service.  My workshop on networking is called “Work That Room!”  For more information, please call 800-795-5242 x1180.